


Even though it's a one way path

by miloron (ocoa)



Series: Ocoa more like oh no it's Produce 101 [1]
Category: NU'EST, Produce 101 (TV), Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Gen, nah i love jr, takes place during the innisfree cf, very unrealistic in the premise but oh wells, whos the leader now that JR's not in lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-30
Updated: 2017-06-30
Packaged: 2018-11-21 13:14:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11358240
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ocoa/pseuds/miloron
Summary: Jonghyun visits Wanna One for a bit.





	Even though it's a one way path

**Author's Note:**

> Hit me up with plot suggestions or anything at my [askFM page](https://ask.fm/bugiron) hoho

The photoshoot lasts a while, and Jonghyun feels weird, knowing he wasn't a member of Wanna One but that the Mnet producers had called him to discuss with him "some issues". He relaxed in relief when all they wanted was a way of figuring out a leader. He thought for a bit, before giving his suggestions. The producers seemed to like that, before giving him an "exclusive opportunity" to talk to the members of Wanna One again during their Innisfree CF. A load of bullshit, but Jonghyun was worried about Minhyun and the new leader so he agrees. (Not that Pledis had any plans for him at the moment.)

So here he sat, all alone in the dressing room, recognising the trinkets that laid around the tables to the trainees he got close to.

Suddenly the door opens and he hears exactly when the chatter of the eleven stop. So he looks up and gives an awkward smile and wave. Guanlin practically stumbles, eyes wide. "Jonghyun-hyung!"

He sidesteps the questions that the group launches at him, quietly asking to excuse himself and the new leader. Jisung, who hadn't yet been told like the rest of the team, stiffens. He nods, and the rest of the group file out. Minhyun shoots him a look, but Jonghyun returns it with an innocent smile.

"Jonghyun-ah, you came for me? I'm flattered." There's a cheesy grin on his face and Jonghyun almost laughs. Still, he's here on a mission.

"Ah, how do I say this... Jisung-hyung, people are saying they want you to be the leader of Wanna One."

Almost immediately Jisung's face is closed of emotion. "Eh?"

"Wanna One's company wants to make Jisung-hyung the leader, since you're the oldest and the other members say you're very thoughtful." Jonghyun struggled to remember the exact reasons, since they kept beating around the bush, but he supposed that was the main point.

"I can't."

"Eh, why not?"

"Jonghyun-ah, I'm not made to be a leader." Jonghyun frowned, but during Produce- Jisung cuts him off as he says it aloud.

"I'm not a good leader, Jonghyun-ah, I barely was the leader for anything, I keep being emotional, and I can't scold anyone, and it's too pressuring-"

"But Jisung-hyung is the most mature-"

"Age isn't always a sign of good leadership!" Jisung protested, "I mean, look at you! You," Eyes shining, looking away, guilt, perhaps. Jonghyun didn't quite understand until the next words. "You were meant to be the leader of Wanna One. How can I live up to that?"

Oh.

Jonghyun sighed, a hand running through his hair. He deliberated, wanting to say something but not quite finding the words. He chooses them carefully, knowing he means them with all his heart. "But hyung, the issue is that I wasn't the one who got in." Jisung flinches back, and Jonghyun can already see the springing of tears in his eyes. Jonghyun pursed his lips together, sticking his tongue between his teeth as he looked away from the 27 year old. "I know that the producers were planning things, they told me as much. But I was number 14, and now they have issues finding a leader. Being a leader isn't a talent, it's a skill." Jisung looks up at the words, blinking with the sort of confusion that Jonghyun hated. It added pressure onto him, but still he steeled himself.

"I was only 16 when I became a leader. What happened to NU'EST shows how I am not the best leader." Without pausing to let Jisung protest again, Jonghyun continues, eyes casting downwards as he remembers. "I wasn't able to teach Aron Korean and just left him to Dongho, and only stepped in when things got really bad and I was almost too late. Minki got so much flak for his androgynous style that I wasn't able to protect him from. All the scandals Dongho is facing nowadays, just because he's more famous now, makes him so upset and I can't do a thing. And Minhyunnie is alone here in Wanna One and no matter how much I worry all I can do is make sure NU'EST succeeds this time so there's a home for him to return to after Wanna One."

He blinked back the tears, turning his face away from Jisung.

"I'm scared too, hyung. But everyone wants me to be this and that. And I don't want to let them down." He took in a shuddering breath, cursing himself for getting too emotional. "That's why I agreed to be a leader so many times even though it scares me. I try my best, hyung, and sometimes they don't pull through. But I try my best. And when I actually succeed, it feels good, you know?"

Jonghyun can't help but smile, remembering Hyunbin, Samuel, even back in his debut days when they reached #15.

"Hyung,  _you're_  the one in Wanna One.  _You're_  the one the producers want as leader. I know it's scary, I know that it's stressful. But sometimes it's for those little moments that make everything you've forced yourself through so much better. Jisung hyung, you're the one getting that opportunity and I think you can do it."

Jonghyun paused, waiting for some sort of response. When none came, he pursed his lips together again, before adding, "think about it hyung, ultimately it's your choice."

He moves to stand up but just as he was about to leave, Jisung calls his name. The 27 year old looks better, more determined than defeated, and Jonghyun smiles despite himself. "Thanks, Jonghyunnie."

He shakes his head, before bowing again. He leaves the room, before almost getting scared by Minhyun who sat half in the shadows by the door. Jonghyun frowned, he thought that he had already told him since their debut days that listening in wasn't good. "Minhyunnie-"

"It wasn't your fault. Everything you said, it wasn't your fault."

Jonghyun sighed. "Minhyun-"

"If it was," the singer looked up at him with a seriousness he hadn't seen in a while, "it wasn't just you."

Minhyun hugs him then, tight and desperate, and Jonghyun holds him. He knows Minhyun, knows he needs this - at least until the next time they meet. Minhyun's shoulders don't shake, but his face is buried into Jonghyun's shoulder, his back arching awkwardly to reach it. "You did your best Jonghyunnie. It really wasn't your fault."

Something warms his heart then, as it always does when it came to his group, and he hugs back, not able to control the smile. "You did too, Minhyun."

Minhyun pulls away, and Jonghyun's smile widens at the grin on his face. Minhyun links arms with him, half dragging him to somewhere.

"What say we go have something to eat? I still have some break time left before the next shoot and I was craving some coffee-"

And Jonghyun knows that Wanna One was going to be okay, that Minhyun was going to be okay, and he supposed that at the moment he was content with that.

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so the story was that two weekends ago I saw the posts that were mourning JR's loss and then went to search up on who and what is this person. Next thing I know I'm listening to NU'EST everyday and I feel so much for this onibugi. Still waiting for NU'EST's comeback (low key salty at their lack of promotions now but surviving on CANVAS)
> 
> Edit: Yes I changed the title, apparently I had another story named Fear, but the current title is a translation of JR's rap in Fear that I found here: http://pasted.co/3e9f3145


End file.
